When a Celebrity OD’s, Do Other Celebs Hurt?
When a celebrity dies of a drug overdose, “normal” people are used to seeing outpouring of
support and sympathy from other celebrities for the victim’s family. When Philip Seymour
Hoffman died, one famous actor after another announced how wonderful he was and how they
wanted the best for his family.
We very rarely get a glimpse into the personal feelings of hurt from those celebrities who were
around the OD. One such glimpse happened recently as members of the rock group Slipknot
spoke about the death of bassist Paul Gray. Gray’s doctor was charged with involuntary
manslaughter in his connection with the musician’s death. In testimony during his trial, Gray’s
widow Brenna expressed doubt regarding the rest of the band’s members concern over their
bandmate’s addiction.
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As anyone who has been close to an overdose victim will agree, survivors suffer from a long list
of emotions – loss, grief, shock, guilt. When the victim’s widow says that you were
“unconcerned,” it adds to the list with a feeling of “could I have done more?”
In an interview with a Swedish rock magazine, guitarist Jim Root discussed both the accusation
and what all the band had tried to do for Gray. “ Regarding Brenna, Root said, “I think she’s
probably gonna say whatever she thinks she needs to say for the lawyers to hear…There are a lot
of circumstances and dynamics there, and I’m sure that she is hurting very deeply and trying to
find some way to maybe put the blame somewhere.”
As for what they could have done differently, Root denied feeling any guilt. “Paul was our
brother. Paul was very close to us. We tried putting Paul in treatment numerous times. We took
him off of tours and we had interventions with him….What can you do? If you have a sickness,
you have to fix that sickness, but you can’t keep putting someone into treatment over and over
and over again. What are you supposed to do? Babysit someone and live with them?”
The guitarist said that Gray’s widow and child will always have the band members to count on.
Given the circumstances, it’s reasonable to assume that the other members of Slipknot – despite
Brenna Gray’s accusation – had indeed done as much as they could to save their friend.
Ultimately, “survivor’s guilt” is something that many people have to deal with. The key is to
refuse to ignore addiction when we see it. Uncomfortable conversations and confrontations are
part of what friends and family have to face when they see a loved one caught in the web of
addiction. The secret is in taking action while someone is still alive, and not simply expressing
regret when it’s too late.
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