By: Sarah, Transformations Alumnus
My name is Sarah and I am an alcoholic. These were words nobody ever dreams about saying. But for some of us it’s a reality. And my reality came in 2021 after years of abuse. Both with alcohol and my mental health.
I was born in upstate New York to a relatively normal family. I had two sisters and one brother. All are “normies”. Growing up was pretty cookie cutter. Nothing special. Mom and dad worked hard to provide for us and did a great job.
In middle school my parents decided to get a divorce and that is when I first started dabbling in alcohol and mischief. My siblings somehow still managed to stay on the straight and narrow. I think it was because I was the oldest and not only was I in those angsty teenage years, but also because I was around the longest with my parents so it hurt more. Maybe that’s selfish I don’t know. But like so many of us I started hanging out with the wrong crowd and doing things I shouldn’t have. But it felt good. It gave me an escape from the things going on at home. And it felt good!!
Throughout High School it was more of the same. I wasn’t necessarily a trouble maker but I also wasn’t the star pupil. But I managed to work a job and get passing grades all while partying on the weekends. It was always just alcohol and pot. I never went any harder then that. Honestly the other stuff scared me. And I thought I was to good for it. I graduated high school but without really a plan for afterwards. While everyone was going to college. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.
I decided to go to beauty school a few months after graduating. It’s something I had been interested in and the idea of being my own boss sounded good to me. And oddly enough it really got me focused and locked in on my goal of graduating with my certifications. So the drinking and smoking and partying slowed down. And believe it or not I met my soon to be fiancé at beauty school! Everything was going great!
Shortly after I completed beauty school I started working at a salon. I was so nervous but it seemed like the perfect fit. All the other girls were around the same age as me and had similar personalities. But they also liked to party. Alot. It wasn’t long before I was going out almost nightly after work with them. What started off as fun turned into habit. And my fiancé was noticing. At one point he noticed how tired I always looked and how grumpy I always seemed. He told me at one point that I “had lost my glimmer”. Like most alcoholics I brushed it off and gave him attitude. I was just having fun.
My fiancé ended up having enough of my partying and decided he was going to move out. I was still so ignorant that I refused to change my ways. Only without him at home my partying got even worse. Before I knew it I was drinking in the morning and by myself regularly. I would even hide nipper bottles in my car for during work. Once again, like most alcoholics I thought I was being slick. I didn’t think anyone knew how much I was drinking. But after a few complaints from not only clients but co workers as well, the owners of the salon fired me. Now I was alone. My fiancé found out and wouldn’t speak with me and I had no job. The people I worked with were my friends. Now what?
I still to this day don’t know how it happened. But I was at home drinking obviously and was online and decided to look up rehabs. And this place called Transformations came up. The pictures looked beautiful and it was in sunny Florida. Anything beats the weather in upstate New York in winter. I decided to take a leap of faith and call that 1-800 number. Within a few days I was on a plane to Delray Beach. I would spend 37 days there, including detox, and I am proud to say I never looked back.
I am a proud member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have a sponsor and sponsor other women. I have worked the 12 steps and continue to work them in my life each and every day. My womens groups are what get me through the hard days and the good days. Because it’s like they say, it’s the good days you need to be the most vigilant. I am forever grateful to Transformations and the entire staff there for what they did for me. I hope if anything, my story has resonated with someone and hopefully helped someone else.
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